“Everyone will know” is one of the most powerful reasons people delay filing, sometimes for years. It is worth being precise about who actually finds out.
Who learns about it
Your creditors. They must be notified — that is the mechanism by which the debts get discharged.
The court, and the public record. Bankruptcy filings are public. In practice, they are held in a federal court records system that ordinary people do not browse.
Credit reporting agencies. It appears on your credit report for a number of years.
Who almost certainly does not
Your friends and neighbours. There is no announcement. Nothing is published in the local paper. Nobody is notified because they live near you.
Your family, unless you owe them money or you tell them.
Your employer, in most cases. There are exceptions — if wages are already being garnished, or in a Chapter 13 where payments come from wages, or in certain jobs with financial licensing requirements. Ask your attorney about your specific work.
On being fired for it
Federal law prohibits employers from discriminating against you solely because you filed bankruptcy. Government employers face additional restrictions on hiring decisions. This is not absolute protection in every situation, but the blanket fear that filing costs you your job is much broader than the reality.
Renting afterwards
Some landlords check credit and some do not. A filing makes it harder, not impossible. Being upfront with a smaller landlord, with an explanation and references, works more often than people expect. Larger management companies tend to be more rigid.
The part nobody says
The exposure people fear is mostly imagined, and the shame is almost always larger than the actual social consequence. Most people who file discover that the world does not react at all — and that the people they finally told mostly said some version of “me too, in 2009.”